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Razer
|image = Image:razercar.png |imagewidth = 290 |caption = So gay he can't even think straight. |Row 1 title = Nicknames |Row 1 info = None that he won't hurt you for. |Row 2 title = Gender |Row 2 info = Male |Row 3 title = Age |Row 3 info = 31 (canon) / 32 (elegante) |Row 4 title = DoB |Row 4 info = December 10 |Row 5 title = Species |Row 5 info = Elf (Precurian) |Row 6 title = Languages |Row 6 info = Common |Row 7 title = Room |Row 7 info = 2388 (Deck 11) |Row 8 title = Canon |Row 8 info = Jak and Daxter |Row 9 title = Journal |Row 9 info = switch on your nitrous and--let's--go |Row 10 title = Mun |Row 10 info = Nashi }} ...People talk about “flaming” and “fruity” when they don’t feel like speaking up. But this is Kras City’s legendary Razer, and for him you'd better tweak the issue a bit. Let's say, oh...a fruit basket flung into the sun. -- [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2743617/1/ Weiila's "The Diplomat"] '' '' Information Background :Razer is listed as the top lieutenant to Mizo, his world's most powerful crime boss, and known as the greatest racer in his hometown of Kras City. It isn't known how long he's been working the criminal overworld, but judging by his rank it's presumable he's been at it for a number of years. His first love, however, is and will likely always be racing, although until quite recently he was retired and working exclusively in the criminal business. The reasons for his retirement are unknown, but given his age, skill, and personality, it was more than likely due to massive boredom with the underwhelming competition. : :Just a few weeks before his impromptu relocation, Razer returned to active racing in an attempt to kick Jak's ass. He also failed. Not hardcore, mind you, it was close, but a failure is a failure and requires punishment of some form or another. Canonically he disappears following his defeat, leaving it unclear as to whether he simply went back into retirement after the Blue Eco Cup or got himself killed somehow, either by an opponent on the track or by his own employer, who did drop a rather specific (if seemingly innocuous) threat during one very public interview. Personality :A bit of a perfectionist and a big fan of breaking things, Razer is a walking contradiction in terms. He's also a homotastic douchebag who probably wants to sleep with your brother. And maybe your father, he's not picky about ages. He hates failing at anything, thrives on attention, loves to make people angry and will fuck your shit up if you ever call him a fag. He's also an absolute spoiled brat who will do pretty much whatever it takes to get his way. Eh, that's what happens when you grow up in Kras. : :Razer is the kind of man who enjoys the finer things in life as much as he likes breaking them into little tiny pieces. He is not, however, the amoral psychopath that his Havenite counterpart, Erol, so clearly is. Razer is a gentleman; smooth, educated, as well-spoken as he is dressed, and unlike many people in his business he has retained a couple points of distorted moral high ground. First, he doesn't approve of cheating in races, or anywhere it can be avoided. The reasoning behind this is rather arrogant (he's too good to have to cheat in most cases and he knows it) but it's accurate enough that there really isn't much anyone can say about it. Secondly, he finds things like rape to be extremely distasteful, and although he has slept with more than his fair share of barely-willing partners, it's the "barely" that makes it all right. Yes, this is hypocritical. No, he doesn't care. : :Anything else he'll do, and probably has done more than once. He's been in this business a very long time. Appearance :Razer is one of the taller characters in his series, topping out somewhere between 6'2" and 6'4" (he's listed as being 6'2" in his in-game profile, but the height difference between him and other characters makes it obvious that this is slightly ''off), with a muscular build to match. His skin is extremely pale, his hair is jet black and his eyes are bright green; canonically the only actual skin you ever see on him is from the neck up, the rest being completely concealed by his very stylish clothing. He also has freaking enormous ears, if anyone was wondering. : :Considering he's a high-ranking member of Mizo's gang, it's generally assumed that he does have some ink somewhere on his body. In line with this, the version featured on the Elegante has a red-on-black flame tattoo from his wrist to his elbow on either arm. These are usually covered with his jacket and gloves, considering they ruin the air of absolute perfection Razer takes such great pride in, but as Razer has pretty much relinquished his jacket to Lily in a nice bit of manipulation, he's been showing off the tattoos for a while now. He still remains one of the most fashionable people in the multiverse, and don't you forget it. Relationships Canonmates *[[Erol|'Erol']]': ( + + + + + )' Razer's Haven City counterpart. As Razer has always been impressed with Erol's racing, there are no complaints over him somehow being back from the dead. He's also now one of Razer's favorite people ever--they've formed a sort of mutual devotion, even beyond the ''mindblowing sex, that is entirely new to Razer. Basically, it's doubtful that Razer will ever find anyone that he cares about as much as Erol, which worries him somewhat, but at the same time a part of him is reveling in it. At present, Razer is refusing to admit that he actually cares very much at all--neither of them are particularly sentimental, you know. (In simpler terms, Razer is positively kloopy for Erol and if you touch him he will gut you like a fish.) *[[GT Blitz|'GT Blitz']]: ( + + + / - ) Secretly Razer's boss, Mizo. Razer has an insane amount of respect for this man, and is also more than a little scared of him. He does know how to spin things just right to stay out of trouble, for the most part, and is well-aware that he's always been Mizo's favorite, so he pushes the envelope with him a little more than a man in his position should. He usually refers to Mizo as his "leash-holder," making Blitz the Praxis to his Erol. Oh, and for the record he's also slept with the guy at least twice, and it was awesome at the time. At this point, he really couldn't care less. *[[Jak|'Jak']]:' '( + + / - - ) Beat Razer in the Blue Eco Grand Prix, but is still one fine piece of ass. As Jak is somewhat easily confused, Razer is determined to make believe they're some form of friends--to make him comfortable and then rip it all out from under him later in payback for the championships. After this, there's no telling what kind of relationship they'll have, if any at all. *[[Keira Hagai|'Keira Hagai']]: ( - - - / + ) Annoying mechanic woman thing. The mechanic part is cool! The rest, less so. *[[Ashelin Praxis|'Ashelin Praxis']]: ( - - - - ) 'Stupid bitch, but a decent racer. It pains Razer to admit this. Razer is positive that Ashelin is not as smart as she thinks she is, and considering she's younger on the boat than he knew her as she may be more prone to manipulation. He likes to rile her up for fun. * [[Phoenix|'Phoenix]]: ( + + + / - ) Appears to be the younger brother Razer never knew he had. Razer finds him oddly attractive--which is mostly a nod toward his narcissism--as well as an intriguing novelty. He's going to try to keep Phoenix on his side as far as things with Jak go, just because he's too new to drop very quickly. *[[Daxter|'Daxter']]: ( - - - - ) Annoying rat thing. Tells a good story, but is too loud to get many points for it. When Jak was under the impression that Ace had killed Daxter, Razer was sincerely amused. He was also disappointed to find this wasn't true. They just don't get along. *[[Baron Praxis|'Baron Praxis']]: ( + / - - - ) Erol's "leash-holder." Though Razer's never spoken to him, his opinion of the Baron is that he's too stiff and needs to let Erol off his leash altogether now and then. Good taste in tattoos, though, and he deserves a lot of respect for holding Haven in his thrall for so long. *[[Kleiver|'Kleiver']]: ( + + / - - ) 'Ugly, quite possibly stupid, but actually not on Razer's dislike list. If anything, he has a slightly-less-than-grudging respect for the guy, simply because he knows his racing is ''good and that's the best way to do well by Razer. Other Characters *Fred Cassidy: Not really helpful, but not annoying yet. He gets the neutral stamp. *Mimmi Kopanski: Almost entirely unhelpful. *Lily: Crazy little girl with a habit of screaming like a crazy little girl. Informationally useful and oddly endearing. Connected to a great deal of the people on the ship, she's good for networking and Razer fully intends to take advantage of this little quirk however possible. *Zelda/Sheik: Sucks at poetry. Needs to accept this. Fun to mess with, though. *Amaria Midesha: Healer, apparently, could be useful later. Neutral stamp. *Karis Needleteeth: Freak with too little skin. Ohgod. *Autonomous Medical Unit 92-XG-3: So much more interesting than UR-86. *Christine Daae: Delusional, dense, and idealistic. Also young, naive, and a little bit stupid. Hilarious, in a way, but also rather pathetic. *Salvador Rallo: Very much his age, inside and out, so he seems a little...excitable. Props for his thoughts on religion, though. Neutral. *Pickles the Drummer: Too stupid to live. *Ironhide: Has a boring homeworld and needs to admit it, but otherwise doesn't really register. Neutral. *Slipstream: Cybertronians are droids too, stupid. Still, she seems okay. Neutral. *Motoko Kusanagi: Impressive. Overbearing, but impressive. That's about it. *Batou: Someday, Razer is going to kill him. Elegante Timeline September 2009 *14 '• '''Arrival on the Elegante. ''with Ashelin Praxis, Fred Cassidy, Rfena 1.0, Mimmi Kopanski, Erol, Lily, Amaria Midesha and Jak. **14.1 '• '''Rough quickie with Erol. 18+ **14.2 '• 'Your poetry sucks, Zelda. **14.3 '• '''Daxter is still an idiot. *19 • ' '''You're boring and your ship is boring. ''with Shilo Wallace, Ashelin Praxis and Rfena 1.0 **19.1 '• '''Messing with Princess Zelda. *21 '• 'Erol sure knows how to leave a mark. ''with Mimmi Kopanski, Ani Kerrigan, Amaria Midesha, Lily, Erol, Princess Zelda I, AMU and Karis Needleteeth. *28 '• '''Anyone want to trade something for a frog? ''with Princess Zelda I, Ani Kerrigan and Amaria Midesha. October 2009 *07 '• '''Wow your religions suck. ''with Christopher Johnson, Amaria Midesha, Mimmi Kopanski, Karis Needleteeth, Motoko Kusanagi, Fred Cassidy, Lika Hyugens-3 Katrin-Kaius, Ironhide, Ace, Lenny, Jak and Salvador Rallo. **07.1 '• '''Jakiverse religion is interesting. *09 '• '''Someday he's just going to kill Pickles. *12 • Christine is delusional. *13 '• '''Missing Shiv. ''with Kleiver, Princess Zelda I and Pickles. *14 '• '...Are you all right, Jak? **14.1 '• '''Drinks at the Oceanview. *15 '• 'Samuel is just the wrong kind of noble. *16 '• 'Uh...hello, boss. **16.1 '• 'Erol, Razer is here to recruit you. **16.2 '• 'Sex is okay too though. 18+ *21 '• 'Why on earth would Blitz need a warning? *23 '• 'Talk about worlds, and why Razer's sucks. ''with Princess Zelda I, Erol, Ironhide, Salvador Rallo, Ashelin Praxis and GT Blitz. **23.1 '''• ''1984 is totally about Praxis. *24 '• Keeping up the act with Blitz. *25 • Erol accidentally makes Razer's life difficult. *26 '• '''Welcoming Gan Ning to the Hellboat. **26.1 '• 'Pickles is still too stupid to live. *28 '• 'Time to use that frog. ''with Remy Whitecastle and Meth Rezza. *29 • Razer finds his Halloween Event mask. with GT Blitz and Erol. *30 '• '''Yes, Slipstream, Razer's ears are totally proportional. November 2009 *01 '• 'Time to be a bad influence on Jak. *02 '• 'That was one interesting party... ''with GT Blitz. **02.1 '• '''Deck 20 is opened to passengers. **02.2 '• 'Razer is going to live down there for a while. *07 '• 'CRASH. **07.1 '• 'Covering up that whole ''caring ''thing. ''with First Mate Kage, Ironhide, Ashelin Praxis, Slipstream, AMU, Remy Whitecastle, Akagi, Pickles, Ripa Moramee, Lily, Christine Daae, Jak and GT Blitz. *16 '• '''More covering up. ''with Erol, Princess Zelda I, GT Blitz and Lily. *18 '''• '''What did Jak do? *21 • 'Brig visits are only supposed to last three days, right? ''with Motoko Kusanagi, Princess Zelda I, Second Mate Meifeng Al-Mekto and Jak. **21.1 '• '''Pleasure to meet you, less-fabulous clone Phoenix. **21.2 '• 'Hello Bella. **21.3 '• 'Shut up, Oleg. **21.4 '• 'You too, Kusanagi. **21.5 '• 'Lily, your hypocrisy is showing. *23 '• 'Christine visits Erol, Razer is unimpressed. *25 '• 'Talk of Erol and concern for Jak. ''with GT Blitz and Jak. **25.1 '• '''Messing with Edward Cullen. **25.2 '• 'Hating on Batou. *26 '• 'Mizo has a meeting with Erol and Razer. *27 '• 'Damn it, Praxis, he just fixed it. **27.1 '• 'Calling out the Baron. December 2009 (''Holy crap december is BUSY.) *01 '• '''You're still boring and your ship is still boring. ''with Lenny, Ashelin Praxis and Oleg Yugorsky. '' **01.1 '• 'Beating up Edward Cullen. *02 '• 'This means Razer was right, right? *03 '• 'Strike one! (It was so worth it.) *04 '• 'Erol is off his leash. **04.1 '• 'Celebrating the best way they know how. 18+ *05 '• 'Precurians popping out of the woodwork. **05.1 '• 'Everyone knows Torn and Ashe are screwing, wtf. *06 '• 'Daxter killed someone? Really? **06.1 '• 'Daxter killed ''GT Blitz? **06.2 '• '''Hey, hey Erol, our boss got killed by a rat. *07 '• 'Razer starts signing up other people for the racing tournament. ''with Phoenix, Princess Zelda I, Brynhildr Dottir, Lily, Princess Odette, Ashelin Praxis and Karis Needleteeth. **07.1 '• '''Signing up Zelda. **07.2 '• 'Signing up Phoenix. **07.3 '• 'Lily is going to ''end you, Edward. *08 '• '''Agreeing with the masses. **08.1 '• 'But what if he doesn't want Nirvana? **08.2 '• 'Hardcore is for sissies. *09 '• 'Oh. Lovely. ''Keira. *10 '• '''Blitz announces Razer's midlife crisis birthday. **10.1 '• 'Building the PR and hating it. **10.2 Happiness is... **10.3 ...Not this Mardamned party. Links and Stuff thumb|left|300px|This video contains everything you need to know. *[http://jakanddaxter.wikia.com/wiki/Razer ''Jak and Daxter Wikia Page] *Application *'Cutscenes: ' ✖ Initial Meeting ✖ Proper Introduction ✖ Introducing UR-86 ✖ Interview with Blitz ✖ The Bloody Hook ✖ Coming Out of Retirement And that is his entire canon. Enjoy. Category:Characters Category:Fandom Category:Active Category:Jak & Daxter